Europe,  Ireland

Confession: I Bought a Mini Vibrator in an Irish Pub

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I’d like to start this story by saying that I did not purchase a mini vibrator for personal use. Whether you choose to believe me or not is up to you (seriously though, it was NOT for me!). In fact, I didn’t want to purchase it at all but was forced to by (ready for this?) my brother and my mom.

Yes, I have a special family. Come for dinner some time and try not to run away screaming (kidding… sort of).

This particular confession took place in our hostel bar in Cork, Ireland last March. I was travelling with my brother and my best friend, and after a day of exploring the area and going to Blarney castle we were more than ready for a few drinks at the pub. Of course a few drinks meant needing to use the toilet so I headed to the ladies room where, to my amazement, I saw the craziest things attached to the wall. Where in Canada one would normally find dispensers for feminine products, or maybe even mints, these were dispensers of an entirely new variety. The first one was relatively normal, ‘bye-bye alcohol breath’ which I assumed were some type of mints or mouth wash. Then there was the ‘Love Kit’ which included condom, lube, and a towelette. And finally, I guess for those lonely women who did not manage to pick up a man at the bar, mini personal vibrators.

Your best bets for the night
Your best bets for the night

I just about died laughing. I’ve since learned that apparently this is common in the UK and parts of Europe. How I never noticed before then, I have no idea. But now that I had, I wasn’t leaving that stall without a picture.

‘You are NOT going to believe what they have in the bathroom!’ I laughed, showing the photo to my brother and best friend. The three of us giggled like 12 year olds, and that’s about when Jake decided I should buy one for him as a funny souvenir. The guy who hadn’t bought a thing in Amsterdam or Scotland now wanted a 4 euro mini vibrator for women from an Irish pub’s bathroom. WTF.

Obviously I said no. There was no way I was spending 4 euro on a mini female vibrator. Nix that. There was no way I was even buying one, especially not one from a public bathroom! Jake pleaded with me, saying how funny it would be and asking why I was so mean that I wouldn’t I do it for my little brother blah blah blah. But I just shook my head and ordered another pint. No freakin’ way.

And then I got a text from mom.

“Why won’t you buy your brother the vibrator, it’s funny!”

Yes, my brother had used the wi-fi to i-message mom and whine that I was a bad sister for refusing to buy him the stupid vibrator. Apparently she agreed with him, because she even offered to pay for it.

Again, I have a special family.

Two against one, I clearly lost. Even my best friend was in on it although she refused to purchase it herself. So, ten minutes after the initial sighting I was back in the ladies room with 2, 2 euro coins facing the mini-vibrator dispenser. How humiliating.

My biggest fear was that someone would walk in. I debated shoving the garbage in front of the door but quickly noticed there was a lock. YES! You can bet I locked the door and shoved my 4 euro in the machine as fast as possible. Out popped a little box and without even looking I shoved it in my purse, unlocked the door and went back to our table where I just about threw the box to my brother.

vibrator (1 of 2)

Jake, on the other hand, had no problem opening it up to reveal the shiny, bright purple vibrator inside. And yes, for those wondering, there were batteries included and it worked.
Now, a year later, the stupid thing sits in its box on my brother’s bookshelf. One of only two things he brought home from his first trip to Europe; definitely an interesting choice of souvenir.

purple mini vibrator in all it's...glory?
purple mini vibrator in all it’s…glory?

Your turn to confess: What’s the weirdest or most embarrassing thing you have bought on your travels?

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